Once in a while, we find the past making an appearance in our present. Like a movie flashback we find ourselves reliving a memory long dormant and forgotten.

That’s exactly how I felt standing in front of one of the halls in Teachers Camp, Baguio. As I looked through the dusty windows of the empty room, I remembered very vividly a scene from many year back as a young nervous boy:

It was the night of the camp ball, I had been selected Mr. Campference, and as is the tradition, I was to have the first dance with the year’s Ms. Campference  - a much taller girl. Growing up, I was always the smallest in my class. I was tiny come to think of it. I can’t begin to describe how scared I was to walk out there and dance with a giant of a female in front of everyone. To me, back then, that was the scariest moment of my life.

I still feel that way, like a schoolboy dancing with responsibilities much too big for him. Sometimes as the music plays, the weight of supporting her through the dizzying turns and steps can get very tiring.

People ask, “Why take on responsibility in the first place? Why bear the burden for others? Why complicate your life?” I don’t really have an answer for them. I see responsibility differently.

To me, to be responsible is to respond. Respond to what? To the needs of people around us and also to the opportunities presented. It’s like that yema boy I wrote about, who, without saying a word, asked me, “David. David. Your response please?” Or when I was asked to join Habitat for Humanity or Real LIFE, “David. David. Your response please?” How do you know that you’re the one to respond? You’ll know if you’re listening, because need and opportunity call you by name. But you have to be listening because everyday there are calls coming out for help, for food, for a chance, for forgiveness, for leadership, for strength, for hope, for love. There’s so many calls that you’re bound to hear one calling you specifically and you can’t miss it, because it’s saying  your name over and over and it’s asking, “your response please.”

So for those of you responding I’d like to encourage you with what I shared in Baguio, in that same room that once scared me. Here are 5 short points on HOW to respond.

1. Make love our motivation – While we respond to need and opportunity, let it be our love for people or our passion for a concern or cause that drives us. There are so many needs and so much opportunity, a good way to know which one is for us is to check our heart and ask ourselves, “Do I love this?”

2. Make vision our guide – To respond to a need or opportunity usually means to enter a situation that’s not ideal – probably far from ideal – and that’s why there’s a need or opportunity in the first place. There’s something missing, something we can bring to the picture. That’s why we have to see the big and greater picture, a picture we remind ourselves when things get challenging – and they always will because nothing worth doing is without challenge.

3. Make discipline our practice – Our passion and our vision should lead to consistent action. This is one area I need a lot of improvement in. It’s nice and fun to  be involved in something we like. It’s nice and fun to dream big. But it’s the daily steps and ceaseless plodding that takes us closer and closer to these targets. Unless love and vision are applied in action, they will never produce the masterpieces they were intended to create.

4. Make joy your strength – There is a different energy that comes over us when we’re enjoying what we’re doing. Our work becomes fun, and what’s fun we can sustain longer. Responsibilities don’t always have to be tiring and tedious. We can enjoy the growth, the learning, the discovery, and relationships.

5. Make faith your hope – No matter how motivated we are, no matter how grand our precise our vision, no matter how disciplined we are, and no matter how much satisfaction we derive, we will all face a challenge that’s much much much bigger than us. This is why we need faith in God, that we know we can place our hope in Him and trust that what is too big for us will never be too big for Him, not our responsibilities, not our limitations, not our sins, not our failures, nothing.

As we traveled back to Manila after just 6 hours in Baguio, I was filled with a gratefulness to God for even including me in this amazing thing He has designed called life. I know I don’t deserve a spot on the team. I would never make the cut. When I’m very honest with myself I’m reminded, that if I were to take them, I’d fail the leadership test, the integrity test, the faith test, and the excellence test. But that’s the amazing thing. Despite all my shortcomings, there’s a call with my name on it, and it’s not asking if I’m ready. It’s asking for a response.

http://www.davidbonifacio.com is my catch-all site that combines all my different interests and activities. I can’t say it is optimized yet. I’ll get around to it.

http://www.davidbonifacio.blogspot.com is where I place my thoughts on value and the things we treasure. This is also where I use a lot of business and history examples, as well as talk a lot about social development and community service.

http://www.thoughtsofalostboy.blogspot.com is my “sap blog” of prayers, poems, songs, short thoughts, and more romantic interests. The title is inspired by J.M. Barrie’s Peter Pan, which is the story of a boy who never wanted to grow up.

http://www.formspring.me/dbonifacio is the newest addition to online activities, and is turning out to be one of the most interesting and entertaining. Here you can post questions or comments you’d like to send me. I’m apologizing in advance if I’m not able to answer all your questions but I’m committing to answering questions at least once a day.

And of course there’s Facebook, Linked In, and Twitter, and you can just look for davidbonifacio.

For those of you who don’t care, which is probably most of you, my next post  might be of more interest to you. I’m entitling it “What’s the Bottom Line?”

Wait for it.

But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.
Matthew 6:20

But what can we bring to heaven? Not our money, not our investments, not our things, not even our good intentions, righteous acts, and great accomplishments. So what is there to store? What asset type does heaven accept?

This bring us to what are called Alternative Investments.

Everyday businesses exchange some form of value (such as cash) for another type of value container (such as stocks or bonds or goods). And why do they do this? It’s because they’re trying to create value. Sometimes cash is best. Sometimes stocks move up faster. Other times it’s art that appreciates, or a piece of property, or even Jewelry. The objective is the same, what’s the best investment – meaning what will maximize my earnings given my parameters and risk tolerance. Alternative investments are “alternate” or “substitute” investments to the more traditional asset types (stocks, bonds, and cash). Examples of these are art, property, and jewelry as mentioned above.

For example: You have cash in the bank that makes 8% a year in the bank. Since you understand the art world, you know what pieces will appreciate, so you buy a painting for P100,000. If let’s say someone was willing to buy that painting for P130,000, and you sold it at that price you just made P30,000. Instead of a bank holding your money for a year and making you 8% interest, the art piece became the container of that value, and because it appreciated more you ended up with more value.

Let’s get back to our verse: Store up for yourselves treasures in Heaven. What type of asset class does heaven accept? What’s the right alternative investment we can store?

Relationships.

Risking that I’ll sound too much like my father’s son – which I am in case you forget, but the Bible tells us in plain English the best way to use what we have:

I tell you, use worldy wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings.
Luke 16:9

So here’s how it works:

You have money, it can be a billion or it can be a peso, or it can be a free afternoon, but if you use what you have to build right and strong relationships through kindness, generosity, giving to the poor, giving to missions, feeding the hungry, sharing your time, or your home, or whatever, what your’e doing is you’re converting what you have into the only asset class heaven accepts: people. When you store your treasure in heaven nothing can destroy and it no one can steal it.

And that’s how you make your money last forever.

But trust is something else. Trust is an open door into someone’s mind. It’s a key to the heart. It’s worth building, and what’s worth building is worth protecting.

I cringe when I think about people whose trust I’ve lost. That’s probably gone forever. Maybe there’s forgiveness there but I’ll never again have the chance to truly be a part of their life the same way. I’ve blown my chance. Which makes earning and keeping the trust of those I still can very important to me.

So really, when we talk about standards and expectations, we’r really talking about trust.

My dad has a new book coming out, it’s nearly done, and it’s shaping up to be something I would highly recommend. But in the manuscript is a whole section on trust, its importance, how its defined, and how we can build it. Wait for a copy. I’d like to share a thought connected to trust, and I’ll start by talking about a well-known event in the Vietnam War.

January 31, 1968, before many of us were even born, with 80,000 troops, the Communist launched a massive attack on 36 of 44 provincial capitals, five of the six major cities and 64 district capitals. This attack would become known as the Tet Offensive. The Communists lost about half their men in this attack and the Vietcong were now crippled.

The ironic thing is, while American and South Vietnamese troops won that battle, many experts say that the Tet Offensive was the turning point that lost them the war, not because they lost more men than the Vietcong, but because they lost the trust of the American people. (The start of Tet is the lunar new year.)

To make a long story short, the Americans back home, who had been told that they were winning the war, were so shocked at the televised images of the Tet Offensive, that they were convinced that the government had lied to them about the war, and they lost confidence in the administration. A loss of confidence is a loss of trust. And when there was no more confidence in being able to win the war (in the jungle as well as the political battlefield), the end had come.

I think about that story, and I think about the Pyrrhic victories of my personal life, the battles I may have won but has cost me dearly. I think about achievements that seemed to be so sweet, dates so hot, or businesses so lucrative, or the different things in my life that seemed like must-haves but have turned out to be expensive mistakes.

These are Tet Offensives of our lives. The battles we win that cost us the war.

Most regrettable are the relationships lost, and the open hearts closed, probably forever, because I had to prove myself right in my position, or had to win a basketball game, or a tennis match, or had prioritized achievement, or just couldn’t accept being last.

While I never really said it, for most of my life winning at all cost, getting what I want at all cost, always seemed right. Now that I’m an old 25 year old, there are some wins that aren’t worth it. They’re not worth it because of the pain the cause or the baggage they bring. They’re especially not worth it because of the trust these wins have destroyed.

If we win every theological debate, but close their hearts, we will lose their souls.
If we win the battle to provide for our family, but lose their trust, we will lose those that mean most to us.
If we win the battle to be elected into positions, but abuse our power, we will lose our country.
If we win on all fronts but lose the trust battle, we will ultimately lose the war.

Shopping for home stuff is a lot of fun. If you’re like me, and you like details, discovering the differences in mattresses, thread counts, materials, technologies, and products can be an amazing learning experience. But if again, you’re like me, inflexibly particular, it can be quite expensive, in my case, too expensive, so I’ve drawn up master plan which I have divided into spending phases focusing on the most basic and important to me and getting fancier later on.

It’s a lot of adjusting for me. Having no internet, or not using the AC as much, and not having a piano are just some of the things new to me. And while they’re not essentials, a lot of people don’t live with these conveniences, they’re things I’ve gotten used to, things I’ve come to expect as a norm of life. The truth is, if I hadn’t gotten used to a lot of the comforts I enjoyed I would be much more flexible than I am today.

I realized I have two choices: content myself with lower standards or increase my capacity, through discipline and faith, to earn more.

I thought about it: With every higher level we reach we create a higher expectation. When you’ve past grade 1 you’re expected to be able to handle grade 2 and so forth. When you’re used to a certain standard of living it’s not so easy to lower it. When you’ve tried McDonalds you expect all McDonalds to be the same, which they strive to do, to meet your expectation so that’s why you’re always satisfied. It’s like exchanging numbers with a girl, then giving her a call, then it’s lunch, then it’s dinner, then it’s breakfast, then before you know it, she expects you to give yourself away with a ring included. Expectations escalate.

Here’s the principle on expectations: Not meeting an expectation disappoints, meeting an expectation satisfies, beating an expectation impresses – but it also creates a greater expectation, a greater expectation we now need to at least satisfy. And when we consistently meet or surpass expectations we start acquiring that most precious of currencies: trust.

This is one great challenge the next generation will face: the expectations created by the previous generation. For some the standards have been so low that the expectations are also so low, and the danger here is settling at a low level and we see examples of this in highly impoverished areas – a lowering of standards with each new generation. Some are content with the good or have not been exposed or prepared to take things to the next level. They don’t realize that standards are dynamic what was good before may no longer make the cut, so while they may satisfy at the very least, lurking close by is the very real possibility that someday other things will be more satisfactory and cause people to stop trusting in us and erode our relevance. (See my post on The Survival of the Irrelevant)

And there are those who follow a great generation.

In a visit to a partner’s factory, I was talking to one of the managers about the new family member who joined the company. This company is a respected firm that has been around since before the war. It’s on its fourth generation I believe, with the crown prince about to take over. I remember telling the manager, “Must be nice to inherit such a great company. At least it isn’t so hard.” She looked at me and said, “I think it’s actually harder. Imagine being in your twenties, having little experience, but having responsibility over hundreds of employees right away?” She was right. While this guy had a lot going for him by being heir to success, his inheritance brought a burden with it – a burden of greater expectations.

This is why building a strong next generation is so critical. Because with each changing of the guard we are posed the question: will we raise the standard? Raising the standard will require more from us and it will increase expectations of us. We will then have to respond with an even higher standard. But if the generations are prepared well, prepared to be strong, to fight, not to settle, to persevere, to sacrifice, and most of all to have faith to rely more on God, then we need not fear expectations. Besides the alternative is a lower standard, and if we do this, we take the first step in a downward spiral of good to bad to ugly to kaput. Sure we won’t have the burden of expectations on us, but that’s only because we’ve lost their trust.

I have to warn you that this is not going to be as funny as the last blog. It’s actually not funny at all. I just need to do some housekeeping.

And the winner is…
First of all, I’d like to award the first winner of my “Best Question” contest to Marie Ayongao. Marie, send me your address (privately message me so that I can have it delivered to you) and choose whether you want a Molekine with lines (like I do) or with no lines (as the purists prefer).

Marie asked me whether I would sign a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) form or how to deal with the issue of euthanasia or semi-euthanasia in our hospitals. And to be completely honest, I didn’t have a substantial answer, one because it was about 2am, but also because it’s not a topic I’m too familiar with or consider as a main advocacy. But it did make me realize that there are so many issues, some general, some specific, that are all valid and must be dealt with.

So here’s my answer in a nutshell:
I really don’t know. “I don’t know” by the way is a real answer know-it-alls should try sometimes. I’m pro-life, in the sense that I would be against the taking of a life simply because of pain, inconvenience, or handicap. But because I don’t know enough on this topic, such as the legalities or practices of institutions, I can’t really give suggestion on what to do except this: If this is a cause or a concern that is burning in your heart, maybe it’s because God is telling you to do something about it.

Some of you may have a similar stirring, a similar discontent, or a similar discomfort with the way things are – and when you feel this way, as soon as you feel this way, ask God, “What do you want me to do?” I believe great change for the better will come when each one finds his or her own passion, and does his or her part, in his or her sphere. So keep your eyes seeing, your ears listening, your heart feeling, and the rest of your body ready to serve.

Fans & the Opposite
I’d like to thank everyone for all the kind words and comments on my last post Brothers Bonifacio – Our Father’s Favor. It was especially nice of those who made the extra effort to send me a personal message. From the words of encouragement, to spelling and grammatical corrections, as well bringing attention to my insensitivity to people’s sensibilities, and to suggestions on how I could improve things, I read and appreciate them all. I’ll reply to them as promptly as I can.

Next, I’d like to thank my brothers. If you guys didn’t do so many crazy things (getting married for one) I wouldn’t have anything to write about.

I’d also like to thank my critics, the regular ones and the new ones. (Of course I’m not counting those who prefer not to say anything. Could be more.) Thank you for being there for me.

“You make me want to be a better man.”

The process with me is simple. It’s like a pimple. You can ignore it, you can cover it up, or you can treat it. I prefer treatment. So if you see that I have a pimple, you point it out, and as soon as I can, I go to the dermatologist and have it treated. If, for whatever reason the treatment is delayed or needs follow-up sessions, I apologize, but you’ll have to live with the pimple on my face until it’s clear.

Son of a Preacher Man
Sometimes I get asked by people how I can be so arrogant, chauvinistic, crass, cynical, mean, self-effacing and at the same time talk about helping the poor, going to God, and having the right values. They ask, “Don’t you see the contradiction?” and this is usually followed by my favorite line, one I’ve been hearing quite regularly for most of my life, “You’re supposed to be a son of a pastor.”

Actually, I’m more like the son of a preacher man.

Some of you won’t get that.

Seriously, the answer is yes, I do see the contradiction. I think the fact that I’m actually not that good or nice a guy is the most obvious thing in the world. It’s this reality of my shortcomings mixed-in with a desire to make a positive contribution in people’s lives that produces this tension – this contradiction.

But it’s also an authentic representation of myself and of the stories I share.

And I think these contradictions can be found in most people if not everyone.

We’re a mix of aspirations and dreams, and we want to become better, to be significant, but also included, holding us back, are our fears and insecurities, lusts and passions, our lack of discipline and self-control, the baggage of our wrong decisions, the habits we have to unlearn, the offenses we harbor and defenses we’ve erected.

We’re a mix of contradictions.

I know I am.

That’s why I go to God. Not because He’s going to zap me with lightning (some of you are thinking: so that explains the hair) or give me an ugly girlfriend every time I do something wrong, (if that were the case I’d have a harem of medusas, and clearly that is not the case), but really because of two reasons:

1. I don’t stand a chance without Him – I don’t stand a relational chance, I don’t stand a moral chance, or a behavioral chance, I don’t stand a financial chance, I don’t stand an emotional chance, a righteous chance, or an intellectual chance, I simply don’t stand a chance. So I go to Him, each morning, every evening, sometimes in faith, sometimes in doubt, sometimes anxious, sometimes in joy and hope, many times in repentance, and I cast it all.

2. And I am grateful, because not only does He welcome me, but even more, He includes me in His plan, and gives me another chance to participate in the great life of making a difference in others.

The business of making a difference is not exclusive to the perfect – in fact, if you were to look closely at the people who have made some of the biggest contributions to humanity, you’d almost think it’s exclusive to the imperfect and to seriously flawed people – and you’d be right. Because these are the ones who took chances, made mistakes, suffered consequences, learned, made more mistakes, more consequences, learned more, and ended up with…

… discovery. I love that word. Partly because it starts with the letter “D” (which is absolutely my favorite letter), but because it means something was unveiled. That in the process of stepping out, falling, hurting, learning, rising, and on, something was revealed, a truth that gives you another chance, another better chance. And when that truth is spread it shares that better chance with others.

And that leads us to what I want to share with you in my next post: Overwhelming Compassion. It’s about taking all the chances God gives us to grow, to mature, and to remember to value every opportunity, every new chance, to make a difference in the lives of others.

Wait for it…

Carla (Rica) Peralejo and Joe Bonifacio’s Same Day Edit from Jason Magbanua on Vimeo.

Want to share the video of my brother’s recent wedding. Joseph is a pastor at Victory Christian Fellowship while Carla (Rica is her screen name) is a very popular actress in the Philippines.

From one crisis to another.

Like many others, sometimes I feel God has forgotten me, that He doesn’t hear my prayers, or if HE does, He doesn’t really care. I don’t doubt His existence. I’ve been past that idea a long time ago. But sometimes this existent God feels far. And like a lost child, I find myself running in circles desperately looking for the familiar parent.

Usually I feel this way when I’m faced with problems and difficulties that seem too heavy for me. That is what a problem is right? A person, a situation, a mistake, a challenge, or something, that has grown larger than us and is threatening our security. If it were something we could solve easily than it really wouldn’t be a problem. It’s the difference between a fly and a lion. One is a pest, a nuisance, the other can bite your head off.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has felt this way. Challenges are not special to certain people. They are a reality for everyone. Some people have big problems and some have small problems. I’m finding that the difference is not so much the in size of the problem itself but is relative to the perspective and capabilities of the one facing the concern. For some a one million Peso debt is huge, for those who are restructuring much larger amounts like I am, it’s small. I hate it when people say things like, “That’s a small problem. Look at them they have bigger problems.” These people completely miss the point. The fact that a person has a problem, big or small, means that he or she currently lacks the solution, no matter how big or small as well. They don’t need to know whether their product is big or small, they need help.

So the best way to get involved is simply to help.

Grace-Flow
But it’s through these challenges that I’ve learned a concept that now helps me whenever I’m facing a situation I’m unsure I can handle.

I like to call it the Grace-flow.

One of the most important business concepts (though many times misunderstood or underappreciated) is the idea of cash-flow. Having found myself, unintentionally I assure you, in several restructuring situations, I have learned to respect the importance of managing and maximizing cash. In my short experience, the companies with healthy cash balances and positive cash-flow are much easier to get back into shape, mostly because the resources needed to make things happen continue to come in. Fighting out of negative cash-flow can be extremely difficult and is many times a good sign a business is about to go bust. (Unless some infusion or investment is made.)

At its most basic, business can be very simple. Someone provides a product or service that is purchased with money. The money goes to paying for the cost of the product or service, the expenses incurred to make that product or service available, and a portion for profit. So the cash-flow involves the in-flow of money through payments to the business and the outflow such as payments towards the expenses. It’s this process of in-flows and out-flows that make up what is called a cash-flow statement. This can get more complex with different payment terms or time cycles but we won’t get into that. This isn’t a finance course.

Healthy companies have healthy cash-flow. Meaning, they maximize the amounts and timing of the in-flows and out-flows in a way that always leaves them with enough money to cover all payables and spend for expansion and future needs.

Similarly our bodies have blood circulation to keep the supply of oxygen, nutrients, and other essential substances to the different cells. A deficiency in the supply or quality of our blood will affect our health adversely. I’m not a doctor but I’ve read enough health books to know the basic importance of healthy blood circulation. Another lesson learned from the restructuring of Issho Genki (the Squalene company we recently re-acquired). And our blood does more than supply; it also takes care of removing waste from our organs to be eliminated from our body.

Just like cash for a business, a healthy circulation of blood is important for our bodies. Cash is to business what blood is to our bodies.

Which brings me to the spirit.

Business has cash-flow, the body has blood-flow (circulation), and the spirit has Grace-flow – the flow of God’s grace that empowers us through His presence in our lives to be who He wants us to be and to do what He wants us to do. I don’t mean some fuzzy feel-good Grace that people can take to an extreme and treat like a get-out-of-jail free card. I mean empowerment, that when you lack you can go to God and know that His grace abounds, that He gives generously to all, and that you will have all that you need. I don’t know if it’s like energy that’s expended. I’m not a theologian. I do know that I need more and more of it. Or maybe I’ve always needed the same amount but just now realizing how much.

Go to God
Earlier this evening, I had dinner with a business partner from the Middle East. The last time we met I had flow to Dubai for two days to meet him, and now he’s returning the favor. After the meeting, as In walked towards the lobby of the Shangri-la (Edsa), I remembered a party my parents threw for me at this very hotel. It was my 13th birthday, and I remember my dad telling me, in front of a rather large crowd of meaningful people, “David, you’re a man now.” (As opposed to being a boy. Not a girl. Just so I’m sure you know.) Basically he was telling me I had to be responsible.

I thought about that memory and told myself, “God, this responsibility is getting heavy.” Sure it comes with authority, but that’s matched by accountability. You’re the boss, so that means you get the blame. That’s the way things are.

And things have been particularly heavy this year.

But going through my files when I got home, I came across a short letter I wrote Nathan Punzalan on his own 13th birthday. Nathan, along with a big bunch of other kids used to come to my house every Saturday morning for football, food, and faith. I won’t give the whole letter but the last paragraph was a good reminder for me, and may help you as well.

Here it is:

Nathan, there will be times when you will find yourself in over your head. But trust in the Lord. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Always believe that God can do great things in your life. When you’re succeeding, go to God. When you’re excited, go to God. When you’ve made a mistake, go to God. When you’re ashamed, go to God. When you’re afraid, go to God. When you’re tired, go to God. When you’re broke, go to God. When you’re in love, go to God. Whatever it is, whatever you’re going through, go to God, and be sure of this – He will answer you.

DAVID

So we finally come to the end of another Tolstoyish post. But really we can summarize the whole thing in three words: Go to God.